Rated (M) for mature. This post contains foul language.
I write this through personal experience. I am aware there are many other individuals who have experienced situations far worse than mine or anything else imaginable. However, my goal is to give my insight and hopefully it may help you to realize that you are stronger than you believe. Whether it’s from the angle of “This person knows where I’m coming from” or “I’ve been through 10 times tougher situations than this guy”, I hope this article helps.
You know, it’s not easy to be yourself and openly express who you are. Many people are faced with ridicule, rejection, dismissive responses, humiliation, lost relationships, opportunities for advancement, and many other awful negative attitudes and actions that come with being who you are. Worse of all, we can receive this backlash from the people closes in our lives, whether it is from family, friends, or co-workers. Yes, they can do and say things that can pierce the soul and damage our perspective on human nature.
I can’t write this through the eyes of a female or someone who is gay because I am neither and wouldn’t dare suggest to know the first thing about the struggle experienced from that standpoint. Nor could I write this through the eyes of they immigrant experience because that is not my experience. I am writing this through the eyes of a single American male of Haitian descent with a desire to the improve lives of everyone on this planet.
What do you do when someone doesn’t respect who you are? Whether it’s financial status, occupation, relationship status, sexual preference, ethnicity, types of shoes you wear, or a whole list of other aspects of your personality or lifestyle that doesn’t coincide with someone else’s expectations?
What do you do when someone convinces a group of people to form a certain opinion about you?
What do you do when someone wants to bully their opinion into the six inches between your ears, aka your mind?
I say fuck em…… Fuck em, Fuck em. Not like you wish malice upon them or misfortune, more like “hey, if they’re not with me then fuck em, have a nice life.”
If they eventually change to become a supporter rather than someone who is purposely trying to drag you down then great, you become an ally.
If you have good intentions, and trying to live your life the best you can which still doesn’t please someone else? Fuck em.
It’s not easy to do. They may be in a position of power or authority, or just be someone that you hold in hi-regards (mother, father, your boss). Some people lose everything they have just to stand up for who they are or what they believe in.
You don’t have to say it in their face, just start the process shifting towards that attitude and the rest will follow.
The sooner you disregard people who do not have your best interest in mind, the quicker you will find those who support you, your dreams, your lifestyle, and just you. I call these people allies. In the end, they will become family.
Stop hanging out with people who don’t care about you. Stop it right now. Something better is just around the corner.
I’ve learned this from personal experience. You’re too black, wait you’re not black enough. Why can’t you be like ______ (fill in the blank, you know the comparison game). What are you studying again? You don’t play basketball? Oh, you know about that kind of stuff? Please know this list can go on, and on, and on. You have you list of things people have said that you can’t do, or can’t be, or have physically and mentally have tried to drill in you. I know you have your list. Throw it away. Fuck em. Go live a happy life.
Yes I like rap and hip hop, preferably underground. Also throw on some Red Hot Chili Peppers and some Social D (Social Distortion for those wondering… Story of my liiiffffeeee, great song). Do you have a problem with that? Too bad, go fuck yourself.
Whether it was from not meeting someones expectations or just walking into a room and showing my face. People judge and try to control, it’s just part of the game. Be smarter than the game.
Do I judge people or things? Yes. I think it’s part of nature. Looks like a bear, I assume that’s a bear. Am I aware of it? Yes. Am I working to becoming a better and more understanding individual? Yes. Really that’s all you can ask for from anyone. Help them to learn, evolve, and become better.
Sorry for using the F word so many times, but sometimes it feels great and get’s the point across.